


gentle, gentle

by belovedmuerto



Series: In Your Head [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 2nd person POV, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, Gen, M/M, Touch-Starved, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:51:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6675052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belovedmuerto/pseuds/belovedmuerto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He is gentle with you, and you are learning to be gentle back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	gentle, gentle

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written anything in 2nd person before, so this was a neat little exercise. The first line just sort of popped into my head the other day, and I really needed not only to write something but also to finish it, so I did this last night and posted it on tumblr. Now I'm posting it here, too! It hasn't been edited at all because it's only like, five hundred words. So go easy on me, yeah?
> 
> Comments and kudos are my lifeblood, y'all. Hint, hint.

He is gentle with you, and you are learning to be gentle back.

You are learning a lot, here in this new future place. It is quiet here, which is a nice contrast from the noise that is always in your head. You only feel quiet when he is beside you, when you can feel the warmth of him nearby. You can breathe easy when he is next to you, near you. Your thoughts slow down; sometimes they stop altogether.

You wonder if it’s the same for him. It seems to be, from the way he sighs when he’s drawn near, the way he always gravitates to your side, the way he hovers and frets until you look at him, really look at him, close and unsmiling, and he settles. The little crease between his eyes smoothes out, and he smiles enough for both of you.

His touch is warm and quiet and gentle, and he always asks before he touches you, with soft gentle hands, with soft gentle eyes. You don’t know how to tell him he doesn’t need to ask. He’s the only one you can stand to have touch you, and you crave it.

He’s told you, before. He has so many more words than you, but he doesn’t seem to mind that you don’t talk much. You know you used to talk more; you used to be charming and easy. You are neither of those things, now.

“It’s okay Buck,” he said. “You don’t have to ask. It’s always okay, for you to touch me. Or hug me. Or. Whatever.”

He doesn’t fear you. He says he knows you won’t hurt him. You’re not so sure that you won’t accidentally hurt him at some point, but it’s nice that one of you believes it to be safe at your side. You know you don’t want to hurt him, not ever. Sometimes you still dream about hurting him, and you always wake from those dreams shaking in fear, with tears on your face. You always have to check on him after those dreams, make sure he’s still there, still breathing, still whole.

You stop asking before you touch him. You draw close to him, and then closer, and he smiles at you, and you put your hand on his back, and his smile goes sun-bright and elated. You think maybe you’ve never just done this, without asking, without ages of hesitation. Not in the now, anyway. You know you used to.

“Bucky, can I hug you?” he asks, and you nod, let yourself be drawn into his arms, settle your chin over his shoulder and lean into him the same way he’s leaning into you.

You think about what you remember, about your past. Most of it is washed red with blood, and will always be there, sharp and clear, but there is some of what came before, fuzzy around the edges and tinged with love. There was love in every gesture, in every touch. You know he used to be tiny and angry all the time. Angry at the whole world, at everything and everyone except you, it seemed.

You loved that he wasn’t angry with you the same way he was angry at everything else. It made you feel special, and you never felt special, before.

He was fragile and broken in different ways than now, different ways than you, but you were never gentle with each other, before. You think maybe he likes it, now. He likes that you are careful when you touch him, not to grab and pull, careful to be gentle, to treat him with care. You try to treat him with as much care as you can, with something like reverence. He is special. He is special to a lot of people, but he is most special to you. 

There’s not a lot that you know, but you know that much. He is most special to you. He is gentle with you now, and you are learning to be gentle with him, too.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr with the same username. I would link but I apparently am complete shit at html tags so I hope you don't mind a tiny bit of additional work.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [touch and retreat and touch again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10775805) by [SoManyFandoms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoManyFandoms/pseuds/SoManyFandoms)




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